a-sinners-account-to-sin:

yummykyman:

A Series of Left Turns :: Chapter 14

I’m really thinking of starting to title these things, but I’m not sure. It might be a little pointless more than half way in. Either way, I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

– ‘Did you ever find out why you were feeling that way last night?’

A text from Stan during the middle of breakfast. Cartman is sitting right next to me, but, that fact alone shouldn’t make texting Stan feel uncomfortable. Then again.. It is about him.

-‘Yeah. It was guilt. I couldn’t help but feel bad that while Cartman’s trying to grapple with the idea that his parents abandoned him, I was abandoning him too by going off and experimenting.’

This is only part of what my theory is. I do think that I feel guilty about doing that kinda stuff while Cartman’s in such a shitty situation. Definitely. But on top of that, he’s in the same house as me, and has a crush on me. He doesn’t need the idea of me being with Stan on his plate with everything else.

Cartman puts up the facade of just being irritated that we might be together, but it’s not just irritation. He did bring up the possibility of me bringing Stan over to do stuff with him so clearly it’s on his mind often if he’s thinking that in depth. It’s not like I would ever do that to Cartman even if I was with Stan, but…

It just feels so awful to think about. I mean… I’m clearly not ready to jump into a relationship. I couldn’t even kiss Stan back properly. To force myself through one just for the sake of it when I know there’s a pretty high chance that Cartman has a crush on me is incredibly insensitive.

– ‘That’s ridiculous Kyle. Just because he’s miserable doesn’t mean you have to be.’

– ‘I’m just explaining what that feeling was.’

– ‘Yeah but that feeling isn’t normal at all. You really need to stop hanging around him so much. It’s really not good for you.’

– ‘I wish you’d stop saying that.’

– ‘I wish you’d stop putting Cartman first. You really need to take care of yourself.’

Ugh. This is something I will never agree with Stan on. He’s so afraid of putting other people before himself. He treats it like it’s a crime. He treats it like people who put other people before them even momentarily will always put that person before themselves. And he treats those people like they won’t be able to recognize when they start getting taken advantage of.

What, because I’m being stressed out that means I’m being taken advantage of? I chose this. And I’m only stressed out because of how invested I am in Cartman. And his situation. It’s not like he’s directly or intentionally stressing me out.

I mean, he could be a little more cooperative, but Cartman is right in the sense that he didn’t ask for any of this.

I don’t get why he doesn’t want to cooperate though. I could help him.

– ‘The amount of care that you put into Cartman isn’t something he’s ever gonna give back to you, dude. He doesn’t deserve it.’

…

– ‘I disagree.’

I don’t elaborate on this. Stan asks me why I disagree, but I just say that I disagree.

I think back on when Cartman grabbed my wrist, when we were getting out of Buck’s car. That look in his eyes… He gave me that same look when he was talking me down as he aimed the gun at me.

That reserved, frustrated, but pleading expression.

There’s something there.

And I’m not just gonna give up on it.

Continue on AO3 >>
Continue on FF.net >>

The way you write Kyle is so relatable

Like honestly this is so accurate to high school life like I want this fan fiction to be a movie (though that probably wouldn’t work that well because what makes it are Kyle’s inner monologues….the imagery is amazing though)

Dude this compliment means so much. I’m so glad you enjoy my writing

flykolt:

THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLOWERS!!! i love you all!

THE FOREST SIDE

‣ The King of the Forest Elves Kael (Kyle) is a rather serious ruler. Having an unenviable past behind him, he somehow managed to stay afloat and doesn’t lose heart. The reason, quite possible, was devastation after the theft of the source – it was simply no time to regret yourself. He is very warm-hearted about family values ​​and traditions, he loves nature and his close ones. He despises people fiercely, but, must assume , we perfectly understand that he is clinging to them.
‣ Warrior Stan the Magnificent is the king’s first defender, as well as his right hand and best friend. Having lost all his family, he was forced to accept the offer of the elves and join their community. Re-learnt to communicate, spent all the time on training, disassembled not only elven, but also human charter. As a result, Stan today is a well-trained warrior, to whom the clang of the swords is more like the music than the approaching war. He is ready to give his life for the ruler.
‣ Bard Jim (Jimmy) (actually it was not his name – Stan gave him this nickname at the young age, but everyone became so familiar with it that the real name is almost never mentioned. “I like it, it looks like a jingling string,” – elf responded, – people know how to select names “) – the royal adviser, the buffoon, the local bard-sang and the former right hand. By the arrival of a human child, he reacted with cynicism and ridicule, but later became closer to Sten most of all (not counting Kyle, of course). It was with his lips flew the first comments, “words of edification” and “don’t avoid working or I am going to hit you with this stick again.” In connection with his curse, which overtook him at an early age and deprived him of the opportunity to speak / move normally, he rests on his canes. However, this does not stop him to occasionally go to the neighboring kingdom for news and play wonderful ballads!